The Talk of Men: 19 Jan 2011

19 Jan 2011

Saddle in.... Today's is kind of long.

Reading/Focus: Ephesians 5:25-33 (ESV), again.


I'd like to revisit the first word that was mentioned yesterday in verse 29. Yesterday, I shared my challenge with the word "Cherish". We'll look at the word "Nourish" today. As I mentioned yesterday, the word "nourish" (as it was explained to me) is a word used almost all of the time as a word describing the act of providing for, feeding, caring for, etc. I really don't think this is to say that a husband is to be the only one providing sustenance for the family, but rather the one ultimately responsible for the provision and safety of the family. In the event of a loss, he needs to make sure those happen.

But I can't get around the other verses that seem to bookend this verse on both sides; verses that identify two things: (1) that the relationship and responsibility of the husband is analogous to Christ's relationship and responsibility displayed to the church, and (2) the husband and the wife should be united as one flesh.

(1)
Since Paul makes it clear that a husband should see his relationship with his wife as similar to Christ's relationship with the church, we should be looking to see what Christ did for the church and apply it to our own role as husband.
Christ came to the earth to save the earth through his death, which brings light to verses 25 and 26, that he gave himself up for her, but also that he cleansed her. I notice that this is self-sacrifice, not a command from Christ to the church. He acted on her behalf, for her spiritual salvation.
Be the spiritual leader in the family. Be the one to initiate prayer, discussion, and growth. Listen. Be the one to have the energy in going to church to learn more about Christ, to serve others, and not just getting Attendance points.
What can we do as husband, on our own volition, to see to the spiritual growth of our wives? What can we do in our own walk, in discussion with our wives, with our own energy, to better our wives' walk? Ask her how her walk is going. Edify her by complementing her, making her feel cherished. Be the one to bring peace between you in a conflict. Sacrifice being "right", to promote one-ness, whenever possible, not just whenever easy. Use your time to support her. Pray for her. Seek out her passions and support them. Don't speak ill of her or her interests.
This is something that i am very much still in my own infancy exploring. I'd like to learn more and more ways to discover how to promote my wife's spiritual growth. As the spiritual leader this is something I should be doing.
However, this also means that I have to be feeding myself spiritually as well. Can Ethiopia teach America about nourishment? How can I feed/nourish/tend to the spiritual well being of my wife, if I am starving myself?

(2)
The husband and the wife should be united in one flesh. What does this mean? It means more than sex. While verse 31 discusses the man and the woman coming together to form one flesh, the immediate depiction I see is the consummation of marriage. But in the verses preceding verse 29, the role of man to woman is compared to Christ to the church.
How then does Christ come together in one flesh with the church? Simple: Christ lowered himself, came to earth in an earthly form (a huge demotion, by the way, since human bodies are so much more flawed than a heavenly body. How's your physical health?), lived a life of love, encouragement, not judging, and nurturing relationships with God, then dies to himself to cleanse the church so that the church may live in more intimacy with God. Who benefitted from the death of Christ? Christ or the Church? The church, of course, not Christ. Christ didn't need anything. In the same way, coming together as one flesh often means sacrificing, loving, nurturing, and providing for (both physically and spiritually) your wife.
Verse 32 really seems to support this idea that the "two becoming one flesh" is indicative of Christ and the church.
This section ends with verse 33 reiterating that we should each love our wives as ourselves and to let the wife see that she respects her husband. I think there is something really important here. "..let the wife see that she respects her husband." In other words, don't command her to respect you, let her see to it that she does. That is her responsibility, not yours. Servant leadership requires us to act as a servant. Servants never demand anything. They act to get things done. Show me where in the Gospels where Jesus demands respect or submission, I dare you. I chuckle at this, since most men in their christian lives (myself completely included), either in jest or in conversation, refer to verse 22 of this section, to get their wife to do something or to just "submit!". Paul just knocked this down like a fly-weight in the heavy-weight ring.
As a side note, the role and responsibility of the man is complex. Not one that can be discussed to entirety in 15 minutes. However, the Amplified Bible, as it was pointed out to me last night, is a version that is an attempted pure literal translation of the Greek to English (some of you higher level scholars correct me on this one if I am out of line...). The Amplified Bible gives a very interesting and detailed version of Verse 33. It actually seems to expand on how to respect her husband, but to us it also shows how she should do it. I wish that it would do the same for men...
33However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.] (Amplified Bible)
To be honest, I almost didn't include this verse in this version, because I am worried that if we find out what the women should be doing, we might ask her to do it that way, which we all know and fear, might be understood as a demand to conform or submit in this way (Dang it, there's that word again). Please resist the urge. Servant leadership.....

Prayer Requests:

> That we, as men, would meditate on what it means to be the spiritual leader in a servant leadership role.

different subject....

> Praise that Todd is feeling well and that he is able to be relatively independent in the hospital right now.
> Praise that there isn't much to report. (Sometimes less is more...)
> Continued prayer that the donor cells are strengthened and take over the body. When the hospital does a Chimerism test, we want it to see 100% donor cells.
> Continued prayer that God would strengthen Jen, as she is taking care of most of the things at home, while visiting Todd in the hospital.
> Continued prayer for Todd's health, that when his immune system is so low, that he would not get sick at all. Todd's White Blood Cells (WBC) are down to 0.0.

See Todd's Blog, specifically "T+3: the hospital is boring."